ext_77205 ([identity profile] kapvik.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] drag_race 2013-04-09 09:57 pm (UTC)

OMG the mini-challenge trainer was gorgeous and totally my type. Too bad I'm all into these fitness-minded guys, and I am the total opposite of that, so we never have anything in common. Also, the fact that he had a total fake/stage name was annoying. "Storm." Bitch, please. If you're not a wind-riding mutant chick from Africa who controls the weather, you better get your ass a real name.

Is it terrible that I was amused that Roxxxy couldn't even get off the ground to do a single jumping jack? I'm also surprised Coco didn't do better at this since she has all those East German Women's Wrestling Team muscles.

I'm glad Jinkx showed as much compassion and sensitivity to Fortuna, but I'll be blunt: she got the old dude. As per Raven in Season 2, there was no way she was going home; her gay vet was way too sympathetic. And yikes that his HIV meds mutated his body like that. It's just too bad he got painted to look like a cartoon Mexican domestic.

Alaska's pads on Nebraska did indeed look like flan in retrospect. But other than that her gay vet's transformation was off the chain, and she totally should have won. Robbed!

It's just a pity that Detox's look is so severe, and thus Beth Adone (hee!) also had to look severe, which made him more mannish in drag than he should have been. And while I understand that most of Detox's plastic surgery is reconstructive, I have to wonder: did she have the accident before or after she did porn? Because I always assumed the way Detox looked in her porn pics were pre-surgery. And that's weird because that means she never looked like either her mother, her father, or her brother. If Detox wasn't a twin, I'd swear she was adopted.

Roxxxy, IMO, got the easiest job because Isabella was also tubby and Hispanic, or could at least pass for such. So *of course* everything Roxxxy had already fit her. All she had to do was shave the guy. This win was cheap.

Not only did Coco fuck up Horchata's face, she aged herself a bazillion years again. She was bringing present day Natalie Cole realness, wrinkles and all. And Michelle Visage was being nice; Horchata didn't look like Frida Kahlo, she looked like a Frida Kahlo motherfucking painting, the makeup was so bad. Horchata's face looked like it was made of pure Sherwin Williams, and her eyes were more lopsided than Phi Phi on her worst day! I have to believe everyone was trying to preempt a Coco tantrum on Untucked, because the judges were being kind with their critiques and Coco is delusional if she thinks that looked good.

I'm actually surprised that "It Takes Two" hasn't come up for LSFYL earlier since Michelle has been on the show so long now. I loved that song back in the day, before it got unfairly drowned out by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock's version. But that lip sync was just okay. Coco was looking far too desperate and stopped lip syncing partway through, and Detox still seemed like she was barely trying. Detox is just lucky she kept lip syncing through the whole song and that Coco completely forgot how she beat Alyssa last week.

Also, I had to go back and look at old Seduction videos, because to this day I still can't remember which one of them was Michelle Visage. Can you believe that at one time she both looked and sounded like Gwen Stefani? Did MV smoke or something?

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